Dearly Beloved, (A Letter to the “Dead”)
by: Alyssa Weber
All you have left me is grief
And this grief confuses me.
The experts and articles say there are 5 stages
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Once you've felt all of these you have “healed”.
You have “moved on”
You have “grown past it”
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
They say these stages are straight lines.
You go through each once and that’s the end of it.
You don’t look back. You don't repeat. You aren't allowed to.
But what if some days, I am Avoidance
I am music in my ears as I go about my day
smiling and pretending everything is okay.
While some days I turned into Anger
red hot rage that is not easily tamed
irritated and irrational, emotions flamed.
Why then some days am I Bargaining?
Selling my soul for answers lost, repetitive questions, and gambling depict the deadly cost.
The worst days are when I am Depression
black and numb, constantly worried about what I’ve become.
The best days are Acceptance
Like the sun finally shining through after a rainy day, little bruised but the whole, believing the dark is finally away.
I’m like a tornado. Sucking up the things around me while repeating this cycle of grief over and over and over and over-
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Avoiceance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance-
What happens when I break the cycle? And which stage will I be stuck in forever?
All you have left me is grief
And this grief confuses me.
by: Alyssa Weber
All you have left me is grief
And this grief confuses me.
The experts and articles say there are 5 stages
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
Once you've felt all of these you have “healed”.
You have “moved on”
You have “grown past it”
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
They say these stages are straight lines.
You go through each once and that’s the end of it.
You don’t look back. You don't repeat. You aren't allowed to.
But what if some days, I am Avoidance
I am music in my ears as I go about my day
smiling and pretending everything is okay.
While some days I turned into Anger
red hot rage that is not easily tamed
irritated and irrational, emotions flamed.
Why then some days am I Bargaining?
Selling my soul for answers lost, repetitive questions, and gambling depict the deadly cost.
The worst days are when I am Depression
black and numb, constantly worried about what I’ve become.
The best days are Acceptance
Like the sun finally shining through after a rainy day, little bruised but the whole, believing the dark is finally away.
I’m like a tornado. Sucking up the things around me while repeating this cycle of grief over and over and over and over-
Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Avoidance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, Avoiceance, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance-
What happens when I break the cycle? And which stage will I be stuck in forever?
All you have left me is grief
And this grief confuses me.